Leading with Love at a Glance

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Remembering Dr. George Graen — The Man Who Proved Leadership Is About Love

When I began my Doctorate in Business Administration at Rollins College, I was both excited and admittedly out of my element. Academic research was a whole new world to me, and I felt outside my comfort zone. In my very first class, What Is a Theory, my incredible professor, Dr. Greg Marshall, assigned me to research and present on a leadership theory I’d never heard of: Leader-Member Exchange (LMX).

As I started digging in, I was floored.
Despite my extensive Navy leadership training—command courses, formal schools, and countless leadership conferences—LMX had never come up. In the Navy, leadership was often framed as a set of tasks or positions, not as a relationship. Leaders were expected to have all the answers, issue orders, mission first. Building trust, nurturing relationships, and fostering shared growth were not emphasized as core elements of leadership.

LMX put structure, words, and scientific rigor to everything I had lived as a leader. During my time as the commanding officer of the USS TEXAS (SSN 775), a nuclear fast-attack submarine, I saw firsthand how human connection—not just tactics or technology—was the force that transformed our crew.
We went from struggling to exceptional.
Our submarine achieved the lowest turnover rate in the Pacific Fleet for two consecutive years, earned the highest possible scores on the Navy’s most rigorous engineering inspections, and built a culture people didn’t want to leave. That kind of transformation wasn’t about weapons or systems. It was about people.
LMX gave me the language and framework to understand why.
LMX remains the most cited relationship-based leadership theory in existence. With over 50 years of research, the evidence is overwhelming: when authentic, caring relationships grow stronger, everything improves—including performance and the bottom line.
Despite his stature in the academic world, I reached out to Dr. George Graen, expecting no response.

To my surprise, he wrote back.
Over the next six years, we would talk often by phone, meet in person, and eventually co-create a leadership curriculum designed to help others build organizations rooted in human connection.

My book, Beyond the Sea: Leading with Love, was born from that mission—because what worked beneath the ocean surface works everywhere people are at the heart of the mission. Whether you're on a nuclear submarine or in a corporate boardroom, leadership grounded in love, trust, caring standards, and human connection changes everything.
Dr. Graen believed love belongs in leadership. He didn’t just theorize it—he lived it.

I’ll always be grateful for his wisdom, his generosity, and most of all, his friendship. Dr. Graen, you changed countless lives through your work and your heart. We’ll carry your legacy forward and make this world a better place together.

Rest in peace. We have the watch.